Monday, June 17, 2019

Hey, Soul Sister!

My favorite song of the moment is "Hey, Soul Sister" and it's moves me to reach out and SHOUT OUT to all my soul sisters (and brothers) out there!  But is there really an "out there"?  Maybe....or not.  If it's all vibrating light particles then I'm experience a really miraculous show where there seems to be a very realistic epic drama unfolding and I'm the main character.  That's what enlightenment does to you.  It turns you "outside in" when all my life I've been outwardly focused thinking and feeling that there is a material world outside of what I thought was "me".  Then all the layers and layers of me slowly dissolved away which each exquisite sensation of the electric aliveness emanating from my heart. Visceral experiences that transcend any other experience I've ever had.  It's beyond description.  Yet my mind is fully alert and observing each moment and yes, attempting to record and understand what is happening.  Each moment is like a flickering flame of consciousness moving between "me" and "no-me" which is pure awareness.  I come in and out of existence, engaged one minute, then floating away the next.  It's like balance yet continuous flow.  One moment I'm engrossed in the dream, and then awareness arises recognizing the active parts of "me" and switches back to this bliss, this profound peace.  This switch is a momentary choice to let go of anything within me that keeps me from experience this incredible bliss.  I am beginning to experience the body as a finely tuned vehicle that can navigate reality through emotions as part of the co-creative process.  Mastering this process is my true purpose, and playing Blackjack is perhaps may or may not be relevant.  It is relevant only as it allows me to employ the co-creative process, and not relevant if it distracts from the process.  The engine that drives this process is letting go and surrendering to the present NOW moment.  This means letting go of the entire backstory (the past) and what I think "should" happen next "considering" the past.  The merry-go round of the mind spinning different variations of "what ifs" and "what could happen".  And because we overly identify with our bodies, all this baggage I carry around is stored as suppressed dense energy which drains the body's energy over time.

Once I let go of the ego identification with the body and the fear of death, I was able to feel more energy flow into my body.  The blocks and dense energy of fear can choke off energy flow.  The energy raises the vibrations in the body and causes it to heal and reset from trapped trauma, illness, and dis-ease.  The vibrations and energy movement feel so good and my cells are vibrating with joy!

It's the joy I want to share and transmit to all my soul sisters!  What we heal in ourselves we release in the collective consciousness.  Fear and self doubt are not our forever friends.  They are only here for a moment and this too shall pass.  Our bodies need our acceptance, love, and mercy.  I am willing to look at the "me's" I've created to deal with negative judgments coming from all directions all my life.  My energy drained as I created little "me's" each time I was judged or hurt by others.  When I experience emotional trauma, I would start thinking there's something wrong with me.  If I could be better, they wouldn't reject me.  I must not be good enough.  These thoughts trigger emotional energy and fear and sadness.  Some of the "me's" were quite angry. Then to "cope" with the hurt of these emotions, I would create a version of "me" that had to prove to the world that I really was good enough.  This "me" had to be lovable some how because I know that love is what we are, so I can not, at the level of awareness I had as a child, understand why others don't love me the way I love them.  The more the "me" that wanted approval tried to get approval from others, the more of my energy it used up.  Then the more rejection it got from people, the other "me" that was angry about being rejected got angrier which was a drain over time.  Anger can be very toxic for the body.  All this created a war within and I was not a peace within my body.  So since I was a little child, the innate joy and bliss became denser and denser vibrations as I aged.  I intuitive feel this caused my cancer and now I'm ready to regain my lost joy and bliss.  Even if I die from cancer, I will die the way I came into the world.

Enough is enough!  I'm not going to judge myself any longer.  I want unconditional love, because these "me's" are the lost, hurt and wounded parts of me that deserve to be acknowledged, accepted, and hugged in the most heart felt way!  I mean crazily radically hugging those little me's until they willingly join me in the bliss.  Each one that joins (transmute back into pure light) opens up the pathways to energy more. 

All the "bad" things that happen to me have been a spring board into deeper levels to SELF and now I'm ready to truly forgive and let go of all my hang ups about myself.  Other's opinions and reaction to me are to going to influence me for the better no matter if it's negative or positive.  I welcome interaction with life, but I'm no longer attached to outcomes.  I'm still rooting for me.  The real me under all the other "me's" crying out for the real me to awake up and hold them.  And I'm going to express the love energy coming through me the best way I know how in each moment no matter the outcome.  And with each new NOW moment I become more free to be the real me!  This real me is LOVE, and I want to share my love with all my soul sisters and brothers.  May peace, joy and bliss create your next moment and the next....




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